There’s really no point is there? You’re going away. Most likely. I’m still your secret. We don’t know how to behave around each other. I know that when you’re in my bed you hold me and keep me safe, never letting go. But everywhere else I’m nothing but bated breath. Around you my walls are up, for fear of releasing anything that would give away how I feel. I don’t want to have to miss you anymore. I don’t want to have to guess. I don’t want you to stop what you’re doing. I want you. I want you to stay. Your staying only equals your sadness. Why did we even start down this road? You always knew it would end like this. You’re always right.
i will wait for you outside carparks,
outside busy shopping centres,
i will wait for you at work when all your early shifts run late.
and sometimes in the bullring and always when your sleeping,
i will look at your hands and think,
i could never explain what you had.
Johnny Foreigner - Sometimes in the Bullring
I don’t care.
Today I knew it was going to be one of “those days”. I’ve almost gotten through it. Guess it’s just my bed time now.
When a promise of a New Years kiss means nothing at all. And you’re alone. So alone. Lame. But true. When you thought things would be different by now but the shadows of the past still remain.
I have so many people around me who surprise me dearly. I have all the love for them.